Joe’s Cafe 🍳
The Laughing English Teacher
Josef Essberger
I’ve got an English teacher, he always takes our class A fat old jolly red-faced man, he gives us all a pass He’s too kind for a teacher, he never has a rule And everybody says he is the happiest man in school. He laughs when giving homework, he laughs and doesn’t teach He laughs […]
Autophagy of a Black Hole
Josef Essberger
Picture by my Viennese cousin Univ. Prof. Dr. Peter Heilig, who writes: “The story goes back to the days, when the experts proclaimed: ‘Nothing escapes from a black hole’. So I put this statement in question. In a thought experiment a blacke hole might engulf itself – like the legendary ourobouros – of course it […]
I’m sorry, but I don’t want to be an Emperor
Josef Essberger
Charlie Chaplin’s speech from “The Great Dictator” movie
What’s the Joke?
Josef Essberger
What’s an ATM? What’s a PIN? What’s a pedant? What’s the joke?
New Mural Celebrates Amazing Leicester City’s Thai Links
Josef Essberger
The surprise winners of the 2015–16 Premier League in the UK were Leicester City Football Club. A surprise, that is, to all except Buddhist monk Phra Prommangkalachan who predicted it, despite Leicester City’s 5000-1 odds of winning at the start of the season. Leicester City’s Thai owner is Vichai Srivaddhanaprabha, who invited Phra Prommangkalachan — the […]
Trumpxit
Josef Essberger
With the election of Donald Trump as the next US president, the term Trumpxit is added to the Brexit lexicon, sharing as the US election and British referendum do the same misreading of the electorate by an establishment of media personnel, government officials, experts and data-driven pollsters.
Your New Year’s Resolutions for 2016
Josef Essberger
What’s your main New Year’s resolution for 2016?
Colour of the Year 2016
Josef Essberger
The do say black and white ain’t colours
Change the World
Josef Essberger
What does that even mean?
Migrants or Refugees?
Josef Essberger
Europe’s politicians don’t seem to know the difference between a migrant and a refugee.
Hiroshima 80000 / Nagasaki 40000
Josef Essberger
A tale of two cities
Veni, vidi, vici
Josef Essberger
Watch as Hillary Clinton abuses Julius Caesar’s famous words “Veni, vidi, vici” with her own.
Who would you have dinner with?
Josef Essberger
The choice is yours
Is the world better or worse today?
Josef Essberger
And what does that even mean?
What would you take to a desert island?
Josef Essberger
5 things. That’s all
Would you choose the Future or Past?
Josef Essberger
Forward or backward? If time is linear
Would you like to be famous?
Josef Essberger
For what?
House or home?
Josef Essberger
These two words may seem alike but actually they have rather different meanings. A house is a building that people live in. It stands on its own land (unlike, say, an apartment or flat) and often has a garden. It may be detached (not joined to another house), semi-detached (joined to one other house), or […]
What Are Your New Year Resolutions for 2015?
Josef Essberger
And what happened to last year’s ideas?
What to call the United Kingdom if Scotland becomes independent?
Josef Essberger
Disunited Kingdom?
Do you have any New Year Resolutions for 2014?
Josef Essberger
Looking at the coming year
What’s this guy got to do with English?
Josef Essberger
This guy is “Guy Fawkes“, and English was his mother tongue. His death is gruesomely celebrated in England every 5th November when ordinary people mindlessly burn effigies of him on bonfires. What did Guy Fawkes do to deserve such venom? He plotted with others to assassinate the king of England (and of Scotland) by blowing up Parliament […]
Organic or Conventional? WT*?
Josef Essberger
I was intrigued to read about research into what fruit flies think of organic food. Apparently they like it: “By nearly every measure, including fertility, stress resistance and longevity, flies that fed on organic bananas and potatoes fared better than those who dined on conventionally raised produce.”
How many “slugs” do you see here?
Josef Essberger
One word, four meanings
What are your New Year’s Resolutions for 2013?
Josef Essberger
Can you keep your promises?
How many ‘scales’ can you see here?
Josef Essberger
How many uses of the word “scale” do you see
How many waves do you know?
Josef Essberger
Can you make one sentence for each of the four
The Chapel
Josef Essberger
She was walking lazily, for the fierce April sun was directly overhead. Her umbrella blocked its rays but nothing blocked the heat – the sort of raw, wild heat that crushes you with its energy. A few buffalo were tethered under coconuts, browsing the parched verges. Occasionally a car went past, leaving its treads in […]
The three rings of marriage
Josef Essberger
“There are three rings involved with marriage. The engagement ring, the wedding ring, and the suffering.” Woody Allen (1935-) American actor, comedian and director Wordchecker ring (noun): a small, round, metal band that you wear on your finger involved with: connected to engagement ring (noun): a ring that a man gives to a woman when they decide to […]
The chain of marriage
Josef Essberger
“Marriage is a chain so heavy that it takes two people to carry it – sometimes three.” Variously attributed to Alexandre Dumas (1802-1870) French writer and Alexandre Dumas (son) (1824-1879) French writer Original: Les chaînes du mariage sont si lourdes qu’il faut être deux pour les porter; quelquefois trois. Wordchecker chain (noun): a series of connected metal links […]
Better to have loved and lost?
Josef Essberger
What do YOU think? Is it better to have loved and lost? Or is it better never to have loved at all?
Have you ever seen a ghost?
Josef Essberger
Where? What? When? Who?
If you ruled the world…
Josef Essberger
Fat chance
Who would you like to be today?
Josef Essberger
Anyone
What do you think you were in your last life?
Josef Essberger
Last life. Not the next
We are all basically selfish
Josef Essberger
Present company excepted, of course
What abbreviations and acronyms do you know?
Josef Essberger
An abbreviation is something like “Dr” or “Dr.” for “Doctor”, or “Ltd” or “Ltd.” for “Limited”. An acronym is made from the First Letters of other words, for example “NASA” for “National Aeronautics and Space Administration”, or “laser” for “Light Amplification by Stimulated Emission of Radiation”. What abbreviations and acronyms do you know?
Alcohol should be illegal
Josef Essberger
🍺🥂🍷🍾🍻
Mobile Phones Dangerous?
Josef Essberger
Are cell phones bad for our cells?
footer versus footnote
Josef Essberger
A reader writes: “Is the word ‘footer’, now used in documents and written on one of your pages, a correct English word? I think it was created by Microsoft, and I believe the word ‘footnote’ would be more appropriate.” Let’s try to clear this up. I’m not sure whether the word “footer” was coined by […]
Everything will be OK
Josef Essberger
Just how much this post-riots message of hope in 21st-century Bangkok draws upon the similarly repetitive 14th-century “All shall be well” by Julian of
The Prophet ~ Children
Josef Essberger
A poem by Lebanese American artist, poet and writer Khalil Gibran
specially or especially?
Josef Essberger
Many people wonder if there is a difference between the adverbs “specially” and “especially”. Even native speakers aren’t always sure how to use them. In some cases they can actually mean the same thing, especially in informal speech. However, for the sake of simplicity, here are the basic differences
cannot or can not?
Josef Essberger
People often ask me whether they should write cannot (1 word) or can not (2 words).
Saying of the Day
Josef Essberger
A saying is a short, clever expression that usually contains advice or expresses some obvious truth. Many traditional sayings are still in general use today.
How long is a question?
Josef Essberger
Today I was asked a question that at first sight seems very much like the famous “How long is a piece of string?” question. “How long is a piece of string?” is something that people say when asked a question and they want to answer “It depends”, “It depends on the situation”, “It depends on […]
The Very Unnaughty Noughties
Josef Essberger
2000-2009. Noughties or naughties?
End of a decade?
Josef Essberger
A decade? You guessed it – something to do with 10. Several words with “dec” relate to 10, coming from the Greek “deka” for “ten”. A decapod is an animal with 10 legs. A decahedron is a solid with 10 surfaces. A decathlon is an athletic contests with 10 events. Even December – it’s the […]
Idiom of the Day
Josef Essberger
An idiom is a group of words in current usage having a meaning that is not deducible from those of the individual words. For example, “to rain cats and dogs” – which means “to rain very heavily” – is an idiom; and “over the moon” – which means
current versus contemporary
Josef Essberger
These two words are very similar some of the time, but can also be very different. current is an adjective that means “belonging to the present time, happening